The Unhappy Couple and The Twisted Wedding!
by Aeris3
Summary: This may only be PG, I'm not sure. Anyway it's not a R/A one like you'd think. It's orignal flavor. UBDATED!


I wrote this a long, long, long time ago when I couldn't spell the names of the people and to dammed lazy to rewrite it

I wrote this a long, long, long time ago when I couldn't spell the names of the people and to dammed lazy to rewrite it. And I received an e-mail the day after I posted this, and someone did a proof read type thing and I wanted to say thank you. Anyway on with the ficcie! Is ficcie a word? And I also wrote this when I couldn't spell very well either, so I hope you people can forgive that.

"The Unhappy Couple! The twisted wedding!"  
+---------------+  
Ranma ½ is © Viz Video  
2001  
+-----------------+  
+--------------------------+  
  
Midnight: Tendo Dojo; mysterious figures are moving in the bush.   
Ranma wakes up   
with a jolt.  
  
Ranma: Huh? What was that?   
(Ranma gets up and walks outside the dojo. An eerie breeze blows.   
Ranma looks   
and looks but can't seem to find anything)  
Ranma: Oh well. Maybe it was just my imagination.  
  
Morning: Tendo Hall; Kasumi's in the kitchen cooking breakfast.   
  
Kasumi: Oh my! Father come look at this!  
Soun: What is it Kasumi?   
(Looks down. See a brown package on the steps. Soun opens the   
package.)   
Soun: Well why would you look a this. It seems someone left us six   
airline   
tickets and a note:   
Dear Tendo and Saotome Families:  
You have won a all expense paid trip to the new "Tokyo hot springs   
Hotel and   
Casino! You may come this weekend. Just tell them Mr. Ed sent you!   
Thank you,   
Mr. Ed   
Kasumi: Wow! A trip! I'll start packing the bags now! That Mr. Ed is   
very nice!  
Akane: Did Kasumi say we where going on a trip?   
Ranma: Who's Mr. Ed?  
Soun: Why yes Akane, to the NEW! Tokyo Hotel, this weekend.   
Akane: How come?   
Ranma: Who's Mr. Ed???  
Soun: We won it!   
Akane: Who entered a contest?  
Ranma: WHO'S MR ED?????  
(Soun look's a the note once more and has a puzzled look on face.   
Ranma comes in   
the kitchen to hear this.)  
Soun: Well, I don't know.  
Akane: That's weird…  
Ranma: Well, there was something weird outside last night…  
Maybe that's what it was, Mr. Ed putting something on our door.  
Akane: Maybe…   
Soun: Oh well! Lets just go and have a good time!  
  
Friday morning airport; The Tendo's and Saotome's are getting off the   
plane to   
see a limo waiting for them.  
  
Genma: This is so exciting!   
Nabiki:...  
Akane: Let's go come on! (they collect there bags and get into the   
limo)   
Ranma: Did Mr. Ed get us the Limo?   
Soun: This is soo EXCTING!  
Ranma: Did Mr. Ed get us the limo? (Everybody is ignoring Ranma.)   
Akane: Did you hear something Ranma? (turn's to see Ranma with a very   
unhappy   
look on his face)  
Ranma: ...  
(They all pile in a limo and head for the Tokyo hot spring's   
Hotel/Casino When   
they got out, they have 5 humans and one panda)   
Genma_panda's signs: You didn't have to splash me ya know!  
Ranma: I was you or me pop!  
Kasumi: Come on!   
(they go inside to be greeted by a tall man)  
Man: Hello, welcome! My name is Michael.  
Ranma: (under breath) what kinda name is Michael?   
Michael: It's American!  
Ranma: Oh…  
Michael: Now for the rooms, what is your name sir?  
Soun: Tendo Soun  
(Michael looks at his book)  
Michael: Ah! Yes. Let's see, three rooms. Hum… Mr. Tendo and Mr.   
Saotome, room   
345, Tendo Kasumi and Tendo Nabiki room 346, (Ranma and Akane's face   
fall)   
Saotome Ranma and Tendo Akane room 394. Wait its Saotome Ranma and   
Tendo Akane   
room 349.  
Ranma & Akane: …  
(They turn facing Genma and Soun.)   
Ranma: How come I have a feeling that YOU had something to do with   
this?  
(Genma takes out his tire and starts playing with it)  
Soun & Genma_panda's sign: Me? Noo!   
Ranma: Well whatever! (Grabs key from Michael and stomps up stairs)  
Ranma: Great! A week with an uncute tomboy!   
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!   
(the VERY unhappy couple head up stairs. They could be heard yelling   
all the way   
on the 3rd floor)  
Nabiki: Who's GREAT idea was to put them two together?  
Genma: (who happened to find some hot water) Why Soun and me of   
course! When   
they get in there room they will find a wedding ring and a note.   
Kasumi: Oh, my!   
Nabiki: Are you (pointing at Genma and Soun) personally TYING TO RUIN   
THEIR   
LIVES? (clams down)If they WHERE ready to get married wouldn't they   
tell you?   
And why the hell did you put them in the same ROOM?   
Soun: (sweat drop) Well you see Nabiki, we have to take ACTION!   
Nabiki: Well, this _is_ your problem, _so_ don't expect _us_ to bale   
you out.   
Come on Kasumi!   
Kasumi: Oh, okay.  
* * *  
Friday night: Ranma and Akane's room.   
  
Akane: Look, Ranma. It's _obvious_ that our parents did this.  
Ranma: I know, it was. THEM.   
Akane: Look, either we be civil to each other, or, or switch with,   
Nabiki, or   
Kasumi  
Ranma: I'd rather share a room with you then Kasumi or Nabiki.  
Akane: AND WHAT US THAT SUPOST TO MEAN?   
Ranma: I'm just saying that I'm your, your fiancée, I'm NOT there's.   
It would be   
_weird_, okay? I know- oh, never mind. At the end we are going to be   
married   
anyway.  
Akane: WHAT?   
Ranma: Never mind.  
Akane: Baka.  
Ranma: Un Cute, tom-boy. (Akane throws a pillow at him.)  
(The seen fades)   
* * *  
  
Kasumi: Why do care so much anyway, Nabiki? What if Akane is well,   
Happy?   
Nabiki: Onesan, we won't be able to get any sleep, with all they're   
arguing.  
Kasumi: (sweat drop) So you don't care, about Ranma-kun and Akane-  
chan's   
feelings?  
Nabiki: No not really.  
Kasumi: …   
* * *  
  
Genma: Do you hear that, Tendo?  
Soun: Hear what Saotome?  
Genma: The, wedding bells, Soun, the wedding bells!  
Soun: (crying) My little Akane, is all grown up!  
Genma: Calm down, Soun! Akane and Ranma, well be married here if they   
like it or   
not. The chapel is booked and the dress is made. Our family honor is   
at stake   
here, Tendo. Oh, Nodoka well be so happy.   
* * *  
  
(Ranma and Akane are headed down stair's to find out why exactly they   
are here.)  
Michael: Ah, if it isn't the _happy_ couple.  
Ranma: Do you have a planed weekend for us Michael?  
Michael: Yes we do. Here you go take a look.  
(Ranma scans the days to come but one particular thing gets his   
attention)  
Ranma: The, the, Sao-Saotome Ten-Ten-Tendo, we-wed-wedding???  
(Ranma faints)   
Akane: (Wakes Ranma with glass of water).  
Ranma-Chan: WHAT HAPPENED?  
Akane: Are you okay, Ranma?  
Ranma-Chan: Read this.   
Akane: Hum, lets see, swimming, tennis, hot springs, um dinner,   
_SAOTOME-TENDO   
WEDDING?_ WE ARE GETTING MARRIED? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM? CAN'T THEY   
WAIT?   
(Over the intercom) WILL TENDO SOUN, AND SAOTOME GENMA PLEASE COME TO   
THE FRONT   
DESK!  
Michael: Your not suppose to use that!  
(Soun and Genma come down to see Ranma-Chan and Akane very un-happy   
looking)   
Genma: What's the matter, boy?  
(Ranma-Chan shoves the paper in to his hands)  
Ranma-Chan: This is what the problem is!  
Genma: Oh, yeah. You see we think it's time you get married. Your   
mother is very   
unhappy, and worried. She wants you two to get married right away, or   
_else_.   
  
(Ranma-chan gets some hot water and changes back. Michael is in shock   
and he   
faints)  
Ranma: She said that? (Meekly) Okay, I'll get married, for mom.  
Soun: Akane?  
Akane: OKAY. I'LL GET _MARRIED_! I WON'T BE HAPPY BUT I'LL DO IT! GRR!  
Soun: (crying) I'm so, happy!  
(Kasumi and Nabiki come down to see what's going on, Akane has a look   
of horror,   
and Ranma looks mad, but you can tell there is also some excitement   
in his eyes.)  
Nabiki: What is going on?   
Soun: Ranma and Akane are getting married! (Still crying)  
Kasumi: Oh! I am so happy for you!   
Ranma: yeah, right.   
Akane: At least Shampoo and Ukyuo won't be here. No telling what they   
would do.  
Ranma: …  
Genma: Michael, now that they know can we move the wedding to   
tomorrow?   
Michael: (gets up) What do you mean "Now that they know?", wait I   
don't even   
want to know. Fine, nobody's using the chapel tomorrow. Why not!  
Genma: Great!  
Ranma & Akane: …  
Akane: NEXT TIME YOU DO THIS, YOU MAY WANT TO _TELL_ THE COUPLE!  
Ranma: YEAH! NO I HAVE TO EAT HER COOKING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!  
Akane: WHAT IS THAT SUPOST TO MEAN?  
Ranma: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!  
Akane: Fighting is no way to solve problems.  
(Everybody face-faults)  
Ranma: Are you okay? (Fells her forehead) No, no fever… Hum…   
Akane: I am perfectly fine. I going up stair's  
Ranma: Wait you have the key! (He runs after her, he catches up to   
her.)   
Akane: Why can't they just let us wait _until_ we are ready. All they   
think   
about is them selves, and the dojo not about us. Oh Ranma, what are   
we going to   
do? They think we are their little puppets, or characters in a show   
where they   
can play with there minds. Do you ever get the feeling that people   
are always   
watching us?  
Ranma: Yes. (Opens doors to revile Genma, Soun, Nabiki, and Kasumi) I   
can't   
believe this! Can't you people find something better to do then SPY   
on people?   
(They leave all going different ways) What the _hell_ are they   
thinking?  
Akane: I have no idea… and I don't really want to know.   
Ranma: Oh well it's getting late, good night. (he pulls a pillow and   
blanket off   
the bed and heads to little couch in the corner and goes to sleep)   
Akane: Good night, Ranma. (Thinking) What am I going to do? I think   
I'll go see   
Nabiki and Kasumi.   
(She goes down the hall to Nabiki's and Kasumi's room.)  
Akane: (whispering) Nabiki? Kasumi? It's me Akane.   
(Nabiki comes to the door and lets her in, Kasumi is reading a book   
and Nabiki   
was watching the news. Akane stars to cry)  
Nabiki: What's wrong Akane?   
Akane: It's, it's the whole wedding thing. I don't want to get   
married now I'm   
not ready.  
Nabiki: There's no changing those lugs minds now. You love him, ne?  
Akane: NABIKI!  
Nabiki: Well do you? (Akane glares at her) Then what's the problem   
it's obvious   
that her loves you. He's is there for you rescues you and defends you.  
Akane: I guess.  
Nabiki: I mean p-chan can't do that for you.  
Akane: What does P-chan have to do with this?  
Nabiki: You mean, you don't know?  
Akane: Know what?  
Nabiki: Oh, boy…   
Akane: Naio?   
Nabiki: P-Chan is, Royga, Royga is P-chan.  
Akane: He, he is?  
Nabiki: Ranma didn't tell you?   
Akane: No…  
Nabiki: weird…  
Akane: THAT ROYGA IS GOING TO DIE! (She cracked her knuckles)  
Nabiki: Clam down  
Akane: Okay, well I'm going to bed.   
Nabiki: Don't stay up to late now. (she has a grin on her face)  
Akane: Naio?  
Nabiki: Never mind.  
Akane: Ja ne!  
Nabiki: Ja ne.  
(Akane goes down the hall back to her room, she opens the door to see   
Ranma has   
now fallen off the couch and was on the floor mumbling in his sleep)  
Akane: (thinking) This is what I'm gunna live with. Oi.(She goes into   
the   
shower. About 10 minutes later she comes out.)  
Ranma: (rubes his eyes) Why am I on the floor? (He mumbles and goes   
in the bath   
room)  
Akane: Ranma no Hentai!  
Ranma: Gomen, gomen!  
Akane: Baka (She goes and changes and gets into bed trying to get   
some sleep.)   
(Ranma then emerges out of the bathroom)  
Ranma: (quietly, thinking Akane is asleep) You sure are cute when you   
sleep, you   
know?  
Akane: You think so?  
Ranma: Ah! I though you are, where asleep!  
(Akane giggles and falls asleep)  
Akane: (mumbles in her sleep) Heehee! Take that Shampoo! Nobody takes   
*snore*   
away from me! Heehee!  
Ranma: (laughs) She's even violent in her sleep. (Laughs some more,   
and manages   
to go to sleep.)   
Akane: Heehee! (Still asleep)   
  
* * *  
  
Soun: Oh no, oh no! This is a disaster!   
Genma: Naio?  
Soun: Nodoka isn't going to be here! She can't make it out!  
Genma: That's all? We'll tape it for her!  
Soun: I didn't think of that, good thinking Saotome!  
Genma: That's why I'm here Tendo, that's why I'm here!  
Soun: (splashes Genma) Don't be to modest Mr. Panda!  
Genma_Panda: Grhaheonakdn!   
Soun: Ah? What is that Saotome?  
Genma_Panda's sign: "Sometimes I think that you hate me Tendo!"   
Soun: No, why would I hate my freeloading houseguests? Especially   
since his son is marring my daughter! HooHoo!   
(Genma is now playing with his ball and humming)  
Soun: Saotome, Saotome, Saotome! (Laughs)  
  
* * *  
  
Nabiki: They are crazy, all of them! Our parents are BAKAS!   
Kasumi: Now Nabiki, clam down. I'm sure that Ranma-kun and Akane-chan   
will be   
happy together.  
Nabiki: I guess your right Sis. But they are so young!   
Kasumi: I know, and don't they want to go to collage with you and   
there friends?  
(Knock, Knock!)  
Kasumi: Come in! (Ukyuo comes in) Oh! Hi Ukyuo!  
Nabiki: Why are you here?  
Ukyuo: Me miss Ranchan's and Akane's wedding? I may not be happy, but   
Ranchan   
is my best friend.  
Kasumi: Does Ranma-kun know that you are here?   
Ukyuo: I don't think so, I was just going to say hi to him. Do you   
know what   
room he's in?  
Nabiki: 349, with Akane, our _parents_ planed this.  
Ukyuo: I should've know that… Well Ja ne!  
Kasumi & Nabiki: Ja ne!  
  
* * *  
  
(Ukyuo knocks on Ranma & Akane's door. Akane opens it shocked but   
lets her in)  
Akane: Ukyuo? What are you doing here?  
Ukyuo: Your and Ranchan's wedding of course! Where is that lucky guy?  
(Akane can't believe that Ukyou is not mad or upset about this)  
Akane: Come in, I think he's in the bathroom. Come in and have a seat!  
Ukyuo: Arigoto, Akane.   
(A few minutes of silence go buy and Ranma emerges from the bathroom,   
in his   
normal outfit on.)   
Ranma: Hey, Akane who's at the door?  
Ukyuo: Ranchan!   
Ranma: oh, Hi Ukyuo. Ukyou?? Why are you here? I mean-  
Ukyuo: I had to explain this like 2 times now… Oi. Your and Akane's   
wedding, of   
course!   
Ranma: Your, your not *gulp* mad are you?   
Ukyuo: No! I'm happy for you Ranchan! Why wouldn't I be? You're my   
best friend.  
Ranma: *sigh of relief* Ua… Shampoo doesn't know `bout this does   
she?   
Ukyuo: No, and even if she did she is way to busy at the Nekohaten,   
now. Heehee!   
  
Akane: What do you mean?  
Ukyuo: Oh nothing…  
Akane: Well _I_ have to go to Kasumi and Nabiki's room  
(Akane stomps off to there room)  
Ranma: …  
Ukyuo: Are you excited? (She pokes him in the side and he starts to   
rub it.)  
Ranma: No, why would I? I am going to ruin my youth and gunna be   
stuck, who   
knows where, with you know who.  
(Ukyuo face faults and gets up and starts to laugh)  
Ranma: What's so funny?  
(Ukyuo points to Ranma's suit, half the shit is tucked in along with   
the jacket   
and the other half is out. Ranma quickly fixes this and says good-bye   
to Ukyuo,   
because he has to get ready. They say good-bye and Ukyuo went off to   
help Akane   
get ready.)  
Ranma: (Thinks) Man oh man this is gunna be horrible! I'd kill him if   
I could!   
(Ranma clenches his fist together.) Ain't I got no say in this? But   
mom… I don't   
like to make her mad. I, I wonder what life with Akane is going to be   
like. (The   
scene begins to fade in to a fantasy of Ranma`s)  
  
(Ranma is walking to a house. There he sees Akane and P-Chan. P-Chan   
is   
wandering around the house and Akane is yelling for Royga to chance   
back and do   
the dishes. Akane sees Ranma and picks up the futon and hits him over   
the head   
for trying to kiss her. Ranma rubs his head and say's, "Why'd ya do   
that for?"   
Then Akane calls him a Baka and hits him into tomorrow.)  
  
Ranma: (thinks) She's even violent in my fantasies *shudders*. What   
if is was   
getting married to Ucchan? Hum  
(once again the scene fades and we are in Ranma's fantasy)   
  
(Ranma walks into a good-sized apt. and looks around.   
Ranma: Yoo-Hoo! Ucchan!  
Ukyuo: Ranma-honey! What are you doing home early?  
Ranma: (sweat drop) I don't know really.  
Ukyuo: That's what you get when you marry a martial artist!  
  
Ranma: (thinking) a lot more peaceful then life with Akane-chan.   
Chan? Why'd I   
think that? (Pounds his head) (Out loud) Are you playing mind games   
with me brain? (He laughs and rubs his head and gets up off the   
futon. He starts to walk to Genma's room to hurt him. He is surprised   
to see Genma and Soun gone and decides to take a walk.)  
  
* * *  
  
Akane was thinking about the dream she had last night she couldn't   
make it go   
away… (Akanes is in her room, but she only sees three walls.)  
Akane: Ranma? (Ranma comes in the room caring what looks like a   
script)  
Ranma: Yes Akane-chan?  
Akane: What did you just call me? (Pulls out her always there handy   
bucket of   
water and splashes water. But, nothing happened Ranma just stood   
there socking   
wet. Akane could not believe what she was seeing.)  
Ranma: Ua, Akane are you all right?  
Akane: You, I splash, no change?  
Ranma: Come on Akane you know that only happens on the show.  
Akane: S-Show?  
Ranma: Akane, we do a TV show. You know Ranma ½?   
Akane: So you mean, that we're not getting married?  
Ranma: (he laughs, and points to his finger then to hers) Akane, we   
are married   
and have been for a year now.  
Akane: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Akane: (thinks: well that dream is just a little too weird for me.   
Her sisters   
drag Akane into the chapel.)  
Kasumi: Oh my, Akane have you been eating more lately?  
Akane: No!  
(They get to the chapel and Soun has decided on a western wedding.   
Kasumi and   
Nabiki leave Akane with her father. As soon as they started   
playing "Here comes   
the bride" Akane dragged her crying father and stomped down the isle.   
Ukyuo was   
sitting with Nabiki, Kasumi and the rest of the Saotomes/Tendos.)  
Priest: Do you Ranma take Akane to be your wife?  
Ranma: (mumbled) Yeah, whatever.  
Priest: Do you Akane; take Ranma to be your husband?  
Akane: I guess...  
Priest: Ranma please give Akane the ring.  
(Ranma throws the ring at Akane. Akane puts it on her finger and   
snarls)  
Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You, ua, may now kiss   
the bride?  
(Ranma and Akane look at each other in a look of horror)  
Ranma & Akane: No!  
Soun & Gunma: Yes! (The take their Childers heads and put them   
together. Akane   
has her eyes open wide, Ranma is sweating and has a look of shear   
terror on his   
face. He kicks his dad in the leg and he lets go of Ranma.)   
Genma: Boy you have no honor! Not kissing your bride like that. Look   
at her   
(Waves at Akane who is yelling at her dad.) She's mortified, that her   
bride-groom didn't kiss her. Look at her face boy (her face is now   
red and her   
fists are clenched yelling at the top of her lungs, the Priest face   
faults.)   
  
Genma: Poor Man, look what you did Ranma!  
Ranma: I didn't do that! Look what you did to Ukyo (Points to Ukyo   
who is   
laughing hysterically.) You drove her to insanity! (He walked over to   
Ukyo)  
Ukyo: Ranma, why am I glad that I didn't marry you?  
Ranma: Ukyo? Are you drunk?  
Ukyo: (Tipsy) Of course not Ranma honey! (Hiccup) Woo! Party!   
(Shampoo jumps in   
through the window.)  
Shampoo: No, AIREN! (Ranma shows her his figure.) NO! You marry   
Shampoo!  
Ranma: Nope sorry Shampoo! (He grabs Akane) I'm happily married!   
(Akane turns   
blue)   
Shampoo: NO! (She starts crying. Akane hits Ranma into the floor.)  
Akane: And don't you ever touch me again, Humph.   
Ranma: Ouch.   
  
+---+  
The end… or is it?  
+---+  
  
Thanks for reading tell the end. The end of this beautiful day shall   
be up soon.   
Flames and comments welcome.   
By: Aeris.

Revised or "proof read" by: [fightingweasles@start.com.au][1] they didn't sign it. =(

   [1]: mailto:fightingweasles@start.com.au



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